30 Jan 2025

 

Ok hello its Venus here 

It's 30 January 2025 at 3:49 p.m. 

In 27th January 2025 I got my first date with someone and her friend I know it's so it's so awkward you know like I never I never imagined this before

She is azriel but I call her honey sayang or el

 I have my first date after getting apps it's so really really awkward in the first time I see her cuz she is so beautiful this is really really pretty and then seriously kind say yes or really really make me happy on the day to give me compliment and smells good handsome kind good person and to give me compliment and I'm a good person I always have to say that before maybe I say I'm cool I say I'm really cool so call me so yeah and let's make me happy for you I'm so happy that they give crisps from her hand into my mouth and so make me blushing.

She always blame herself,No matter who is at fault. She always blames herself and it hurts me to hear it. A woman as great and kind as her has to fight with such bad traits.

I'm so happy on that day it's okay and her friend really support us a bit together and in 28 January 2025 her ex coming to her house and I f****** really hate him I coming to her and I saw her ex I don't want to punch her ex. But I know I'm mature right now. So I talked to her and say that I can be her savior and I wish I can help her in the future. 

And right now 30 January 2025 it's 3:58 p.m. I have problem with her I know it's so hard to say but you know my ego is so high I want to be like so bad with someone but right now I feel so bad to her because I say something what i shouldn't say to her. I feel so broken right now cause I didn't want to losing someone who I love her so much. I know it's a selfies when I hurt someone and I don't want her to leave me. But El you should know that you are the light in my gloomy and darkness life.

You are the one that I can be myself I can be so happy for being myself and then I think you are my savior you always in my pain what you always in my pray and then I hope you forgive me. I hope you can love me back as much as I love you, maybe one day I will tell you about my blog and maybe one day you will feel cringe with my blog but I wanna tell you what i feel.

I lie if I strong I lie if I'm okay I lie if I'm not blushing and I lie that I'm not crying, after your ex coming on that day I really overthinking if you will come to him again. I don't know what you're feeling right now it's your birthday and I know he going to tell you like happy birthday and I love you. I hope you not come to him again. It's second day it is so hard to say I'm so hurt for real cuz I can't tell you the truth if I hate him so much and it's second day I'm crying when I sing a songs and play guitar I hope one day you can read this,it is the proof if I love you so much even I just met you.

Maybe just That in the 4:11 p.m. just want to tell you how much I love you and I hope you can read this one day and I have a brave to give you the link of my blog. I didn't write this,i talk with microphone right now and if you know it's so weird I'm so lucky to meet you. And I just want to tell you that I love you so much and I miss you right now I hope in the future I can be your boyfriend or luckily I'm your husband when you read this no is talking possible to marry it with an Angel but yeah I hope I can.

Okay it's my last word I love you El.